A Command with a Promise

Raise your hand if you’ve ever…

• Spoken harsh words to your mother or father?
• Shouted or cursed at them in anger or frustration?
• Berated them? 
• Failed to financially support them when you have the resources to do so?

At times it’s the most intimate and most important relationships that we fail to handle with tenderness.  And, in the case of parents, this is an area that can be easy to neglect. After all, they’ll understand if you’re too busy.  Right? 

The problem gets compounded when there’s any kind of childhood trauma, or you feel like a parent could have done more to protect you, but didn’t.   This is what I want to address today.  While those feelings may be valid, as you mature in your walk with God, what’s MOST important is that you allow Him to tenderize your heart.   It’s important to study God’s word so you can learn His opinion and His will, and then to allow it to supersede your desires. 

And dear sister, God’s word is clear.  He says HONOR your father and your mother.  It’s not a request.  It’s a command.  But note, God also offers a promise with this command.  He says that if you can be faithful in this area, that your days will be long and it will be well with you.  He’s promised you longevity!  He’s promised you fruitfulness! God has promised that if you obey this command.

I must admit, this verse was a challenge for me because I had kept score of every parental failure growing up.  What didn’t happen.  What should’ve happened.  All of that.  However, I came to the point in my walk with God where I knew I needed to allow this verse to convict me.  I needed to bare my soul before the Most High and let Him tell me I am wrong.  I needed to be brave enough to receive judgment in this area.  And I realized something remarkable.  I had allowed life’s circumstances to harden my heart!  And the only one who benefits from a hard heart is the enemy. 

So the question then became, will I allow God into this closely guarded area of my heart?  Or will I keep that fence up? 

I chose to let God in.  Let me walk you through how I turned the corner and started to see real fruit in this area.  

Step #1:

I started asking myself a few different questions:  How can I honor my parent in this season of my life?  What does honor look like?  What does my parent hope to receive from me?  The Bible says that man looks on the outward part, but God looks on the heart.  I knew that if God sees my heart, then He will know once I’ve reached this grand level called ‘honor’.  I also acknowledged that the way in which I honor my parent will look different from how someone else would honor theirs, and that’s okay.  God sees our hearts and judges us accordingly.  What matters is that we please Him, and if you are earnest, you will.  

Step #2:

 I challenged myself to treat my parents equally.   This was a huge shift for me because of the disparity in the way that my parents showed their love and care for me.  It was always quite easy to do more for one parent and neglect the other.   I had to change this. This was the answer to my previous question, what does honor look like.  It’s equality.  If I wouldn’t hesitate to send one parent money, I shouldn’t hesitate to send the other money.  Regardless of whether they were being genuine with me.  God didn’t ask me to judge that.  He asked me to be obedient.  I have to tell you, this shift has been transforming my life in such good ways.  I’ve seen healing and the restoration of all the things that I thought I’d lost, and the things I thought I never had. 

So, woman of God, I challenge you to follow His instructions.  Trust God, and know that your obedience will be rewarded.  As Samuel said: